Why am I “still stuck”?

This is a question I run into a LOT. Not just with my clients, but in myself. (Oh, how I find it in myself!)

What I find under this is resistance. Wanting things to be different. Not liking where you are. (Or I am!) Feeling like something “must be wrong” if I’m “still” in whatever this state is….

I see that “stuckness” in so many places. Relationships. Being alone. Money. Business. Health. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Why do things feel “stuck”? What is really going on?

Let’s talk about the words first….


Um, hello, ego! If you EVER see the word “still“, there is most likely a judgement that goes with it. There is an expectation of timing. (We have NO idea when it will change!) There is a belief that it should be different and that you’re doing something wrong. There are a myriad of judgements that can tag along with “still”!

As a matter of fact, you can watch for that word when you see it. Is it taking you into a place of judgement? Or to the past? Or the future? Try dropping it from the sentence all together… I suspect you’ll find there is no need for it.

“I still find this beautiful” -> “I find this beautiful” (see how it brings the awareness to now!)

Stuck -> Held

Let’s talk about changing “stuck” to held. This took me a while to switch, but once I did, I started to experience those spaces differently. I’m not stuck. There is holding going on. I’m holding onto something.

When we change the wording to “I’m feeling held” you can interpret it in more ways. I’m holding myself back. Or I’m being held (in a kind way) to allow myself to shift.

Try changing up the wording – even if it feels awkward – and see if there are any shifts for you even just in a very tiny way. Here’s an example:

“I am still stuck with money” -> “I am in a holding pattern with money”

But what keeps it around?

So, now that we’re changing the wording, let’s look at the basic WHY a pattern may be sticking around for a while.

We all know that old adage:

“What resists persists.”

That is, what we push up against doesn’t shift. Wanting something to be different won’t magically make it so.

When we push up against something, there is no space to step back and see what’s really going on. We are pushing and wanting SO much, we can even see what we haven’t learned from the situation we’re in.

Remember, all your experiences support your awakening.

Basically, ever challenge you go through supports releasing something that no longer is a match energetically, emotionally, etc.

So, what can you do?


This is truly the biggest piece. And probably the hardest one for many people.

So many  people believe that ACCEPTANCE means KEEPING THIS PATTERN FOR EVER!

Truly, nothing could be further from the truth.

Acceptance simply means that you are see where you are without needing it to be different.

It doesn’t mean liking where you are.

It doesn’t mean staying where you are.

It just means you accept where you are while still making choices to shift it, see it different, etc. And then you release any expectations of a specific outcome.

(Remember, you have no control over anything but your actions and reactions – doing something and letting go of the outcome is the only way it can actually be done! Oh, this is a big topic… May have to cover it later!)

What is scary about acceptance?

So. How do you feel about the idea of acceptance? Hate it. Think I’m whacked? Refuse to do it?

Then sit with this question. (Actually, I suggest you journal about this question…)

What is scary about accepting the current situation?

But why do we need to accept what’s going on?

Because when we accept the situation, we have the space to step back, see it more clearly. It doesn’t mean we want it to stick around. It just means we are where we are and we see and accept where we are. That’s it!

Acceptance of what is give you the space to shift and see what’s next.

Feel the emotions

So, sit with the emotions that come to the surface at the idea of accepting what is. Journal. Feel. Watch TV shows and movies to let go of those emotions.

Sometimes we are pushing SO hard we don’t even realize the emotions that we’re not feeling.





What emotions surface with the idea of acceptance?

Here are a few questions to journal or meditate with:

  • Why is it scary to accept what’s going on?
  • What if it NEVER changes? What reactions surface?
  • If it never changes, do I still have value? Am I still lovable?

What haven’t you learned?

Now that you’re moving into accepting what is, let’s talk about how you can see the underlying why it’s still sticking around….

So, if you actually DO believe that everything supports your awakening, try asking yourself what have you not learned from your current situation.

“Andi, don’t you know?!? I have worked this issue forEVER and I KNOW I’ve learned everything!!!”

Um, hi again, ego!

Yes, if you thought that or something similar, that’s the ego.

You know you have learned everything from your situation when you are peaceful.

That’s it. You are accepting and peaceful and where you are doesn’t even trigger a thought let alone an emotion!

Okay. Sit with the above question again. Meditate on it. Write about it. Write a letter to whatever feels held – and let that thing/situation/etc write back to you:

What have you NOT learned from your current situation?

Don’t worry if it doesn’t come to the surface yet. That’s okay! It can take time. But creating the space to let it show itself is how you start.

Patience & Kindness

We also need patience. Maybe we have moved into acceptance, but we can’t see what we haven’t learned. Or we think we see it, but it’s “still feeling stuck” there.

Sometimes we just need patience because the memory or belief we are working on releasing is so HUGE, we haven’t fully created the new foundation for ourselves.

In other words, we have old beliefs that are surrounding the big belief that is still unknown to us and we are still letting go of the smaller old beliefs so we can be solid and strong enough to release the giant belief that has been influencing us for a long, long time. This lifetime. Other lifetimes. Who knows?

By stepping back, you’ve created space to feel the emotions, see the patterns, find some relief.

So now is the time for kindness for you. Remember, you’ve probably been working on this for a LONG time (even if it seems recent, the belief is likely much older) and it’s time to be KIND to yourself.

What kind things could you be saying to yourself right now?

“I am doing an amazing job!”

“I am really working hard on a HUGE belief and memory and this can feel overwhelming! I’m doing so well.”

“It’s okay to ask for help or support from others. This doesn’t mean I am failing or doing badly!”

“I am perfect where I am. And I choose to be open to everything shifting.”

Shift the insides first…

Remember, you may want everything around you to shift desperately, but until you shift your perception, it won’t truly change.

That doesn’t mean that you need to change your beliefs to change what your outside world looks like. Instead what that means is that you can change your outside circumstances, but if the situation you’re in were to occur again in the future, you would feel the same. Or, even more disconcerting, you could shift your outside circumstances, but your internal world and reactions don’t even see that they’ve changed because you’re still so stuck in your old reactions, beliefs and memories!

So… are you ready to commit to shifting the way you feel about your situation?

If so, read back through this post… And let me know if you have ANY questions!

What next?

Maybe that’s all you needed – a new perspective.

But if you still feel like you would like some support, don’t hesitation to reach out. I’d love to work with you on your deep, old beliefs!

In love and light,


How Light Running is different

Or, how to feel more peaceful without needing to manifest your “life’s desire”.


This was running through my head last night as I was falling asleep – the understanding that Light Running is different from almost everything else out there.

With Light Running, the intention is cleaning out my reactions.

Not changing things outside me. Not trying to control things. Not being angry or sad or hurt or even self-righteous that things aren’t going the way I want them to.

It’s about letting go of any reactions that come to the surface.

It’s about forgiving myself for having done what I’m triggered by in others – even if it’s not even this lifetime or nearly as egregious. (This is mirroring)

It’s about feeling more peaceful exactly where I am without needed to change anything.

It’s not about “manifesting things” to feel better. (This is one way of avoiding your emotions.)

It’s not about talking myself out of feeling how crappy I feel in the moment.

It’s about owning my emotions. Not blaming, just feeling. Experiencing. And it’s about feeling peaceful feeling crummy! About being comfortable feeling uncomfortable.


Because, on the other side of feeling the discomfort is feeling more peaceful. Releasing that belief, feeling less triggered, feeling less rocked.

Not so that I can manifest something.

Just so I can feel peaceful. Accepting. Appreciative of not only the “good” times, but also finding value in the challenges. Because these challenges support me releasing old, unsupportive beliefs, thoughts, memories.

That’s it. (Ha! “That’s it” – if only it were really that easy!)

But it’s hard to sell that. Especially when we’re wired as humans (and especially by our society) to want a reward. To want things to be DIFFERENT so we can feel peaceful.

What if there were a way to feel more peaceful in EVERY situation? Even if you’re sad or angry or jealous or terrified or panicked?

That right there is pretty valuable. That’s what Light Running is.

No, it doesn’t pay the bills, but it helps you feel more peaceful and clear about the bills to pay and how to deal with them.

No, you may still be annoyed by someone, but you are peaceful with that and not needing them to be gone. (Especially helpful when you CAN’T remove them from your life!) And eventually, you can accept them for who they are without needing them to be different.

AND  you can also find tremendous gratitude when things ARE going well because you aren’t taking them for granted in the same way. And you find gratitude for the challenges because they help you feel more peaceful.

So, yeah. That was going through my head last night.

It’s definitely a different way to look at healing. Healing becomes more about accepting than changing. And sometimes it’s hard to wrap your head around. Okay, it’s hard for ME to wrap MY head around when I have those big reactions come up!

But I’ll tell you, it feels MUCH better being peaceful in EVERY situation than it does to feel peaceful ONLY when things go the way I want.

That’s a much better way to live. Far fewer rugs get swept out from under me now.

And when they do, I have the tools to help me clean out my reactions and recognize the value in that rug being pulled out….

Light Running is pretty amazing stuff!


I’m going to just go one step further… Into my discomfort.

You see, when I share how you can get a Light Running session, my fear is that you’ll say, “Wow. Quit trying to sell me something, lady!”

But really, I just wanted to share with you that if you want to see what it feels like to feel more peaceful, Light Running may support you. Or you can skip to the end…

You can book a session here. Or you can text met at 303.881.9298. Or you can email me at andi@exposingthelight.love.

And if all you want to do is chat for a few minutes to see if we are a match to work together. Call or text me and we’ll set up a time to chat for a few minutes.

Oh, and just so you know, I’m always flexible with how much you pay for your session. Seriously. Don’t let the money stop you. Just text me and I’ll send you a coupon, if you’d like!

This work… well, I believe it’s so important that I want it to be available to everyone.

Whew. Thank you for letting me share this.

Thank you for being here to “listen”.

You’re amazing!



my deepening insights on avoidance

First off, thank you. Like, big, huge, deep heartfelt thank you. My last post was SO incredibly hard to write.

Scratch that.

Post. It was insanely hard to post. (Writing was hard, posting was harder!)

But so many of you reached out to me and shared that it touched you, or that you were thinking of me or sent your love.

And I thank you for that. I meant SO much to me!

And that showed me that this is where I want to go. Deeper, more heartfelt and honest…

You may (or may not!) have seen my post on Instagram about my Avoidance blend. I created it with the intention of facing into everything I was avoiding – and you have already seen some of the shifts because of it…. my last post (actually, I’d read it first).

I wanted to share with you what specifically I’ve been doing and what it’s been bringing to the surface.

So, first off, I made that essential oil blend (doTERRA oils only) and started off by slathering myself.

Behind the ears. On the heart. Back of the neck. Bottom of the feet. 3rd chakra (diaphragm). And about 10 other places. LOL! (I literally would have bathed in it if it hadn’t been in a roller ball.)

I was just ready to really shift how much I avoid things.

After a few days of that, I started to feel myself opening up. I saw my morning meditations shift a little. I saw myself seeing where I’ve avoided things. Posting on my blog for the first time in more than a year. Going to my teacher and having deeper things revealed to me. Defeat, for one big one.

Seeing Defeat for what it was – a limiting belief that was so tricky and playing so quietly in the background that I didn’t even notice it subtly influencing me.

And then I started to make friends with Defeat instead of avoiding it. Thanking it for being there, asking it to leave. Letting go of feeling ashamed of my feelings of defeat.

Then I saw how I’ve wanted to restart my morning yoga practice for YEARS and never made it stick. So I dusted off my 40 Days of Yoga book – literally dusted off – remembering that it was about resistance (a form of avoidance) and started my yoga practice again.

Only this time, I added in a few things: A dedication to seeing my avoidance, using the oil blend every morning, pulling a tarot card (I like Osho Zen the most, but have others I love, too),  journalling, and giving myself the time and space when possible to feel into what comes up. (As a note, sometimes my yoga is 7 minutes, sometimes it’s 40 minutes. Typically it’s about 20-25 minutes and I am kind to myself even if it’s only 7 minutes. And I get on the mat every day!)
Oh, holy crap!
To say that “facing into it” was a challenge at first is an understatement!
Here’s my friend Shame. Oh, hello, resistance. Good morning, wallowing and feeling like a victim. Separation from others/self! I see you hiding!
Wait! Entitlement? What are you doing here? I’m not entitled!
Oh, I see it now… I see how it surfaces for me.
Anyway, these beliefs are subtle. They aren’t in your face, super obvious, always skipping across the surface. They aren’t really that obvious to any except my closest friends.
Instead, they are quiet, in the background. In the shadows whispering to me in the form of my tricky ego complete with lists of why I am right, justified, and should feel that way.
Only, not one of them is supporting me to be my best self. Each one of them holds me back.
So I go to my meditations, grabbing my essential oils (individual ones, blends, anything that resonates) and I pull cords. I talk to the friends who hold space for me, allow me to untangle without judgement – only love.
Now I’m feeling some space where I’ve never felt it before.
Heck, even this post is about a million times easier than my last one. It feels real, and raw and honest. I can feel the tears in me, but they aren’t spilling out.
This. This is why I do this work. This is why, even if I never had another client, even if I never shared the oils with another soul,  I would do this deep inner work because I can find space to fully be me, share what I want to share.
And not expect anything from anyone. Not in a wallowing way. Not in a selfish, I want to be separate from everyone way. But rather a doing this for ME way.
And it’s giving me the space to feel into how to share some of this process – stepping into releasing avoidance – with others.
I still don’t know what this looks like, this sharing with others. I feel like I’m still untangling a lot over here.
But I see these same patterns in my clients and finding new ways to support them is something close to my heart.
That’s where I am now. Learning to love this practice of uncovering the deep, unconscious beliefs that I’m ashamed of. And loving them. Loving myself through all of this without judgement or expectation.
And seeing how I can support others if they want to do a deep dive like this… But that’s for another day.
Sending all of you love and light,

Facing into avoidance and shame…

I want to talk about avoidance a little bit more and how it’s showing up for me…

I see it all over the place for myself, but it’s showing up in a big way with its good friend shame right now. You see, I’m growing my businesses – my Light Running vibrational healing and my doTERRA essential oils businesses – and to reach more people, it just makes sense to post on Instagram or Facebook. Or send emails to my email list. Or post on my blog. And I really struggle with these.

Okay, I avoid them. And when I post lately, they don’t feel like ME.

And truthfully, it brings up SO much shame.

Here I am, I do my own inner work on a daily (hourly!) basis and I still struggle with shame and avoidance.

(I’ll admit – I’m actually in tears writing this all down. That’s how deep the shame is. )

Anyway, when the shame comes up, I avoid sharing and then I feel defeated. (This is a new awareness as of last week – defeated. And it’s HUGE to face into it.)

But with the work I do, I know how to face into it. Usually that’s in a pretty private way with a few very close friends who support me. And I do the work that helps me shift things.

So I’m going to let go of needing to make sure everything is “right” with this post and whether or not I’m being clear. Whether or not you understand all these things I’m going to share. And I’m going to share with you my process.

Because it’s to remind ME of what I’m doing.

Because even thought I’m in a place of shame and I want to run away and avoid so I don’t feel defeated, I’m actually writing this down. I’m moving through it and working to keep it from defining me.

Okay, here’s my process: Continue reading “Facing into avoidance and shame…”

Happy New Year! And hold on tight!

2018 is here! Are you excited? Curious? Nervous?

Of course, each new year can be a time during which we embark on new things, reassess what we’ve done in the past or just feel like we’ve wiped our slate clean. But as we go into each year, we may feel like we’re carrying bunch of baggage along with us – old thoughts, beliefs and so much more that we may have outgrown.

I’d like to help you release some of these old patterns that are no longer a match for you as well as help you shift how you’re looking at life and give you some new tools to help you move forward.

How? Continue reading “Happy New Year! And hold on tight!”

Essential oils are the BOMB!

Back in April, my friend, Tina, came to visit and teach me about using doTERRA oils and why she felt they were so amazing. And it was a bit of an excuse to pay for her trip here, too… Although, I have to admit that I was a bit shocked at how much my view about essential oils during her visit!

After playing with them for myself, beginning to use them with my clients and seeing/feeling some pretty huge changes with the energy, it became pretty clear that it was important to share this with everyone. Rather than extoll the virtues of why I believe doTERRA is such a great company (you can read about that on their site for sure!), I thought I’d share with you my favorite oils – and why I love them! Continue reading “Essential oils are the BOMB!”

Grounding & Connecting

When our brains are going a mile a minute, racing in every direction, we can feel crazed and overloaded. Ultimately, it’s just your ego trying to get your attention focused on your thoughts and help you avoid your emotions. But by grounding and connecting yourself, you get your focus from your brain and you can allow yourself to FEEL your emotions so that they can be released… Continue reading “Grounding & Connecting”

Holy shift, Batman!

Yes, I know it’s been radio silence for quite a long time, but I’ve had my reasons… legitimate or not, who knows!

Essentially, I could feel that every post I started wasn’t where I wanted it to be energetically. Things I chose to write about just had the feel of a reaction in them. Very small, quite often, but still there. So after I’d write something up, I’d just save it and not publish it or I’d trash it and move on… waiting for something to shift.

Continue reading “Holy shift, Batman!”

Happy New Year!

Each new year, I look at everyone making the same resolutions each year and I always feel a bit…. odd. Or maybe uncomfortable. That feeling that maybe I should make a resolution, but it no longer feels correct. And for so many reasons… Why arbitrarily at the beginning of the year? And am I a failure if I don’t achieve it? What if I don’t do any? Is that a copout? Continue reading “Happy New Year!”

Letting go of emotions using TV and movies

You may or may not realize this, but when we have emotions come up and we can deal with those emotions in a few different ways. We can choose to be stoic and stuff all of our reactions. We can take them out everyone while blaming others for how we feel.

Or we can work toward feeling our emotions so that they can be released….. Continue reading “Letting go of emotions using TV and movies”

More on Journaling

It’s been quite a while since I’ve posted about journaling so I thought I’d touch base on it again….

Did any of you try out my last Journaling Prompts? (If you haven’t seen them, you’ll find them at the end of my previous journaling post.) If so, did you learn anything about yourself?

For myself, I find that journaling is currently pretty sporadic – sort of like this blog is right now – and yet, when I take the time, I find it incredibly helpful. I can untangle the truth from the garbage and begin to find the points of growth inside my mess… Continue reading “More on Journaling”

Meditating… (Wait! Don’t leave! I swear this will be fun!)

Here’s the second thing I will do to help me clear my mind… But trust me, “clearing my mind” was NOT what it did at first…. Meditation.

Okay, I know some of you may be thinking, “Wait. What? Meditating sitting saying ‘Om’ for 30 minutes doesn’t sound at all like fun! And I don’t have the time! I don’t even care about study after study after study saying it’s helpful. I don’t have time.” Continue reading “Meditating… (Wait! Don’t leave! I swear this will be fun!)”

Journaling – taking out the garbage

I thought I’d share a few things that I use as tools when I’m off my center. But that I mean, in a huge reaction: angry, sad, scared or any combination of those. Feeling judgmental, frustrated, lost or unsure. I hope that some of the things that I use regularly will help you work through some of your frustrations! Continue reading “Journaling – taking out the garbage”