You’ve Got Self Care All “Wrong”*!
Okay, that’s a bit inflammatory. LOL! Maybe you do have it all right! Let’s see, though…
Here are a few questions to help you see what your Self Care covers and see if you can improve it in some way…
- What does your physical self care look like?
- What does your emotional self care look like?
- What does your mental self care look like?
- What does your spiritual self care look like?
If you feel like your Self Care is well rounded, you may have been able to answer each of those questions easily. But if you’re like most people, you may have stumbled a little with some of them.
Before taking a closer look at these questions, let’s define Self Care:
Self care is doing the things that support your highest good, including yourself in your own life, and loving all parts of yourself.
Physical Self Care
This is probably the most talked about Self Care. Most likely this is because our society is so externally focused. Are you eating “right”? Are you exercising? Are you doing things that support your external self? You can find so many articles about this that I won’t even bother to go into it.
But the important thing to remember when you are creating a self care practice for your physical self is that you are KIND to yourself about it! It can be far more detrimental to eat well, but beat yourself up about a little mess up…
I think I’m getting ahead of myself. Before I go on, though.
Write down what your current self care patterns are.
Can you see where to add in more from a physical standpoint?
Could something be cut back or kindness be given to yourself where it doesn’t meet your expectations?
What did you learn?
Mental Self Care
Mental Self Care is the sneaky one. What does mental self care look like?
It is being kind to yourself with that internal voice. Learning to shift how you talk to yourself, how you replay events that didn’t go “right”*, and learning how to be kind to yourself. I happens by releasing judgement (and knowing that you’re human and will mess up) and knowing that you are perfect and deserve to be talked to with kindness – by yourself. You can’t change how others talk to you, but you can change how you talk to yourself.
This doesn’t mean ignoring your “mistakes”*. In fact, it means fully facing things you would prefer to do in a different way. Seeing ways you can shift or change things for the future.
This happens not be rehashing and beating yourself up – which can reinforce your old pattern.
Consider something that you keep getting upset with yourself with how you choose to be in that situation. Now replay it in your head the way you would have preferred to have done it.
Keep replaying it in new, more balanced ways.
How does that feel?
Emotional Self Care
Here is where things can get a little trickier for many. Often, we look externally to have others “help” us feel a particular way. Whether that’s feeling appreciated, loved, accepted, etc., looking externally for these emotions never seems to be enough, right? Either you aren’t receiving it from others or they are saying it and it doesn’t seem to help.
Why is that? Because until you actually feel that way about yourself, you will never feel full!
Consider it this way, when we want someone else to tell use that they appreciate you and are grateful for something you’ve done (dishes, creating something for them, taking care of the kids, etc.), we aren’t fully feeling that appreciation for ourselves. We, at some level, don’t feel as though appreciating what we are doing ourselves is enough. We feel as though we aren’t enough.
But if we are able to shift this, we are able to appreciate, love, support, accept ourselves, then we no longer need it from others. Of course are are grateful to receive those things from others, but we don’t need it in order to feel whole.
Stand in front of a mirror. Consider those things you are wanting to hear from someone. Maybe they are, but it doesn’t feel enough. Or they aren’t showing you any kindness.
Now say those things to yourself.
“I love and appreciate you, Andi.”
“Thank you for everything you do!”
Did that bring up any emotions? Consider journalling about this.
Spiritual Self Care
This is such a personal thing for everyone so I won’t tell you what your spiritual self care should look like.
Essentially this means looking deeper. What is it that you believe in? What resonates with you that also helps you gain a new perspective?
This may be Light Running, yoga, meditation, etc, etc. etc.
But I believe that when we ignore going deeper, connecting to life, the universe, and, well, everything at a new level, we are not diving into our spiritual self care. And we may be leaving a large part of ourselves behind…
Journal about what you feel your spiritual journey includes. Meditation? Learning lessons from others and life? Church?
Does it feel fulfilling? Do you feel it all jives with your beliefs? If not, how could it change?
What are you seeing?
What’s next? How can you dig deeper into each of these?
First of all, you can join me on the 2018 Inward Journey. This is a group of people who are looking to dig a little deeper, receive some free tools and worksheets for assisting with doing deeper, and are talking about this on my Private Facebook Group.
And what else?
Stay tuned for an online Self Care Workshop I’m working on right now. If you’d like to stay up to date, sign up for my email list. You’ll be able to be the first to get information about this introspective course that will help you renew, release your overwhelm and feel more centered and peaceful.
* A quick note on quoting “right”, “wrong”, “mistakes”, etc. I don’t believe that there is a right or wrong in this world. Nor are there mistakes. We are here to experience this life in all its complexities. Are there things you would prefer to do in a different way? Of course! But just in the fact that you are learning from your choices, you can see that this choice had its benefit – to teach you something new…
Posted on: February 14, 2018 |Andi Tippie